Trying to be Superman

I come from a long line of Supermen. My grandfather was an amazing man, a veteran, the father of 5 boys and a marriage that lasted 50 years. My father was equally amazing. He left shoes that I will never fill. Many of you reading this post knew my father and appreciate the caliber of man he was. I have many things in common with these great men, "things" not characteristics. Like my father and my grandfather, we outlived some of our children and experienced the loss of a son. I saw these men deal with their pain and loss while maintaining their family, work and their life. I stand in awe of how they were able to do that.

I am no Superman! I have struggled with being a husband, father and pastor. These lessons are learned the hard way; trial and error with emphasis on error. I so wanted to be a rock "Superman" for my family like my ancestors but I feel like I have not lived up to their example. Please understand that i'm not seeking your pity, I just know how to realistically rate my performance over the last year. I could have never imagined how hard this road could be and how lonely one can feel while walking it. Everything becomes difficult, every relationship become strained. I find it difficult to control my tongue, my emotions and perspective. The pain that I experience is no different then the pain my family is in. Just because I lost "My Son" is not a greater than their loss; it's just a loss. There are times in my mind when I error on making this a contest about who is hurting the most.

The lesson

The cool thing about Jesus is that He is the perfect example for me to follow. Making other peoples grief greater than mine is the secret. I cry out for people to feel my pain while I forget the fact that Jesus is the only person in my life who can care for me the way I need to be cared for. Think about how much dysfunction comes from our inability to cast all our care upon Him because He cares for us? Maybe what made my dad and granddad supermen was the fact they figured this out. There is only one Superman; Jesus my friend and my king. I consider myself a super failure but I have access to Super Love, Super Grace, Super understanding and Super Power!

Oh how blessed I am.