The Void
Blessings! I am learning just how different it is to lose a
child in comparison to the other Losses in my life. The First trial (The death
of my brother 26), The Second Trial (The Death of my mother 58) and the Third
Trial (The death of my father 6 months after my mother). The death of a family
member has its own unique set of thoughts and feeling. The death of my son is
very different.
When Gregory turned 15 our relationship transformed in ways
that I can only understand now. When Greg was a child, I worried about school,
who his friends were and his overall development. When he became a young man,
my worry began to grow. I was now concerned with his safety on the road, his future,
college, girlfriends and his ability to be a productive citizen. When he enlisted
in the Army my worry grew exponentially.
Since August 2017 I have experienced life without Gregory.
For the first time in my relationship with my son I could not speak to him everyday
when I wanted to. This increased my worry. After bootcamp we resumed our daily
communication as usual. I worried about his emotional well being and how was
adjusting to military life; we prayed together several times a week over these
matters.
The Void- the worry has left my heart. I want it back! I
loved being his father. I want to make an unscheduled deposit in his bank account
because he spent money irresponsibly. I want to discuss the latest life lesson;
I want to pray with him. All of this is gone. There were seasons of our
relationship that were held together by this worry, and now it’s gone.
The blessing- I have 8 other children to worry over. Now I
worry about how this loss will shape them. Please pray for my children by name-
Lindsy, Jeremy, Grace, Daniel, Katie, Samantha, Savannah and Max.
I have more to pour out- stay tuned
Praying for all of you. The loss of a child is never recoverable. It doesnt go away...but it does change... Years after my loss, I found that opening my heart to other children i would never have met before, started a deeper healing. At least it gave me a purpose in life that continued to fill that void. I pray that comfort happens to each of you. You have touched my life in many ways...♡ to all of you.
ReplyDeletePrayers for the whole family.
ReplyDeleteIt's the process of grieving that's important and necessary; not the understanding of it. So thank you for being so open, so real, so raw.
I continue to pray for comfort and peace during this time and there after.
Like mentioned above you have certainly touched our lives in many ways. The strength you display is amazing and held by your undeniable faith you have.
Hi Greg... thank you for sharing your heart. Wish I could be there to hug and love on each one of you. We are praying for all of you continually. We love you dearly. I'm going to see Linds tomorrow and will continue to love on them. We can't beginning to express the heartbreak that we feel for you and your family. All our love in Christ, Love, Chris and Beth
ReplyDelete