The Void

The Void

Blessings! I am learning just how different it is to lose a child in comparison to the other Losses in my life. The First trial (The death of my brother 26), The Second Trial (The Death of my mother 58) and the Third Trial (The death of my father 6 months after my mother). The death of a family member has its own unique set of thoughts and feeling. The death of my son is very different.

When Gregory turned 15 our relationship transformed in ways that I can only understand now. When Greg was a child, I worried about school, who his friends were and his overall development. When he became a young man, my worry began to grow. I was now concerned with his safety on the road, his future, college, girlfriends and his ability to be a productive citizen. When he enlisted in the Army my worry grew exponentially.

Since August 2017 I have experienced life without Gregory. For the first time in my relationship with my son I could not speak to him everyday when I wanted to. This increased my worry. After bootcamp we resumed our daily communication as usual. I worried about his emotional well being and how was adjusting to military life; we prayed together several times a week over these matters.

The Void- the worry has left my heart. I want it back! I loved being his father. I want to make an unscheduled deposit in his bank account because he spent money irresponsibly. I want to discuss the latest life lesson; I want to pray with him. All of this is gone. There were seasons of our relationship that were held together by this worry, and now it’s gone.

The blessing- I have 8 other children to worry over. Now I worry about how this loss will shape them. Please pray for my children by name- Lindsy, Jeremy, Grace, Daniel, Katie, Samantha, Savannah and Max.   

I have more to pour out- stay tuned 

The Darkest Night

The Darkest Night

Blessings to all who take the time to read the celebration of my son PFC Gregory James Davis.

On 1/5/2019 I was awaken in the middle of the night by the dog barking and the door bell (nothing good happens at 12:30 at night when you are a parent). I stumbled down the stairs only to notice shinny shoes and blue pants. It's funny what you recollect, but at that moment I knew my life was going to change forever. There were two young soldiers, not much older than my son Greg, who bravely informed me that my son Gregory was in a car accident just six hours earlier. They continued to share limited details but all I could hear was the word FATAL.

Whatever breath I had at that moment left my body and to this day has not fully returned. One by one my children open their doors because all of the commotion and one by one, I could hear the sobs and cries. This just made things worse. After I collected myself I started making phone calls to my daughters Lindsy, Grace and Samantha. With every call and explanation of the limited information I was provided, my heart began to break. We had the pleasure of being surrounded at that moment by close friends who sat with us in my living room until the sun rose in the morning. The sun rose! This was the first day in 19 plus years that I would live without my son.

I will attempt in the coming weeks to share with you my experiences for the purpose of preparing you for the day that you might get a late night knock on the door. Of this I am fully persuaded- God will never leave me or forsake me!

Lessons Learned from The darkest Night

I will never be the same again
My family will never be the same again
I would have been lost without my family that night
I would have been lost without my friends that night
I am very much acquainted with this type of darkness 
The sun rose
My son was raised to meet His Lord