Friday, February 8, 2019

This is not Real


This is not Real
I’m trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my son Gregory is gone. What makes this so difficult is that I was just adapting to the fact that for the unforeseen future, I would see my son 2-3 times a year because of his service in the US Army. My heart has accepted the loss, tragic as it is, but my mind is not cooperating.
In my mind Greg will be home this summer and we have plans, good plans. I’m learning that my heart and my mind operate differently. My heart has accepted the loss in large part because it sees the pain in my family and Gregory’s friends. My mind has not been re-programmed yet. It still waits for the call or the face-time.
Somehow, I think this is God’s perfect plan in helping His people deal with tragedy and loss. My heart belongs to the Lord and trusts Him without wavering. My mind and intellect are cemented to the daily activities of everyday life. My mind will slowly accept the fact that Gregory will not return to me. There are many thoughts that come through my mind that help with the re-programming; It’s a very slow process.
I thank God that has He alone has the ability to accomplish both of these needs; ministering to my heart and ministering to my mind. My son Gregory has become the backdrop of my mind and heart. I never thought I would think of Him this way. I am grateful for this process, don’t get me wrong, but I was not prepared for this.
Silver lining- When I had children, I often thought to myself “I could never survive the death of one of my Kids”. Well I was wrong! I can survive and even thrive. I have experienced the love of God, the hope of God, the strength of God and the Will of God. I have tested these truths and found them to be evidence that He exists in me. How blessed am I.

Take Away

Take Away I think we are familiar with the scripture “the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord”. We ...